seeking interview introduction

[das.chethan]

hi friends,
this is how i introduce myself in an interview

Basically i m from blore. i completed bcom graduation frm blore university in christ college. after completing my graduation i joined icici bank as credit analyst n Relationship manager support. my role n responsibility is to fulfill all the preliminary steps involved before sanctioning loan to the customer.
then i joined hdfc bank as a retail business banking coordinator and my responsibity is to ensure wheather the unit is running smoothly and my superior ie rsm is to increase the target based on market survey polices etc..

this is how i communicate with the interviewer. and i m geting identified as grammer error especially in bpo ...kindly help me out in this regard