Potty Training...?

[Valerie G]

My son is going to turn 2 soon. I'm kinda scared i'm not sure how to potty train him.

[Mudeepy]

Ok, what you are going to need is an electric remote dog shock collar. When he takes a sh*t on the floor, in his pants, wherever, set the remote to maximum and let the learning begin. Anything lower than the full voltage may result in a fatal anal prolapse. It's not pretty. I lost 2 kids that way.

[No WAY, really?]

Brandy K nailed it! That is exactly how I trained my two year old grandson. I let him play with the potty for a couple of months, sitting on it fully clothed, then taking off his clothes and using it to dry off after a tub. He was urinating in the bath water and I caught him. I popped him on the pot and he was so furious that he finished the job in the pot. When I got all excited, he did too! After a re-enforcing treat of gummi bears he caught on to it very quickly. I would catch him as quickly as I could with the poo and that took a little longer, I would change him and he had no time to feel it on his bottom. After a bit I took the diaper and the 'Cool Alerts' away and let him run naked. He missed the pot the first couple of times but he was headed there. He is now 25 months old and fully trained.